About Trying Times

I had an idea to write about trying times after experiencing one myself. We live in an era where people are encouraged to smile more often, mask their problems and count their blessings. While this sometimes count as good advice we should also not neglect the fact that sorrowful events do occur and we have this emotions for a reason. A baby cries when there is need to cry, there is no amount of counselling or masking that can stop a baby from expressing discomfort but a baby also laughs and chuckles and we embrace this too.

I wrote a few friends to tell me about trying times they have experienced to encourage someone out there perhaps the decisions we made in those moments can guide someone else through their trying time. 

What the stories will do for you;

It will entertain you with stories of trying times experienced by people, the poor and not so poor choices made during those periods and a major lesson learnt.

What the stories will not do for you;

Give you concrete advise on what applies to your situation should you be going through a trying time.

And now, I shall begin with mine.

Episode 1-Journey to the Mountain.

I have never been on a mountain. Actually, that’s not true. I have been to Olumo Rock once but here, I am referring to a figurative mountain that nearly paralysed me. I stopped cooking, fed on junk, lost weight in a couple of days and felt the loneliest I had ever felt in my life.

I had assisted someone very dear to me with an application and things went wrong. I blamed myself even after everyone told me not to worry and to stop blaming myself. I first started by keeping mute and not telling anyone what I was going through while sobbing almost every night. Part of this was attributed to the fact that I was trying to be strong and hoping it will be over soon and that somehow the application would be successful. I lost a lot of weight and a lot of faith, I was thankful for the things I had and prayed so desperately to be able to have peace of mind again, I prayed so much at a point I got tired of praying, I went mute for a long time with fear slowly leading me. I stopped looking after myself, my physical appearance was poor by the day and the most painful part was that I was too scared to tell anyone what I was really going through. I pretended to be fine even though I really wasn’t. I smiled with those who already knew of my problem for fear of them not getting tired of my complaints and after what seemed like forever, a decision was made on the application; It was unsuccessful.

Everything that happened to me after I got the news is not relevant here because I had lost.

I am back from the mountain and here is what I know. When you are going through a trying time, I will encourage you not to jump the process rather, embrace it. If you feel like eating voraciously like a cocoon, please do. If you feel like starving yourself please do. If you feel like crying till the water in your body goes dry, please do and take your time.  You need to learn all the lessons on the way personally for you to become stronger. You need your own judgements to make better decisions in this journey called life.

I am grateful for those who supported me through this period either directly or indirectly.

Lesson learnt- Clichés are true.

Please note that while these are true events, the names of the characters have been replaced for confidentiality purposes.