The Mask

Hey you.

Hi, I want to share something with you but I don’t want you to judge me. If you already feel you will do same, then please feel free to stop reading.

If you are willing to hear me out, then I want to say thank you. Without further ado, let me jump straight to why I am doing this.

It’s about the mask. Not the movie, but the actual object. As you already know, there is this disease that is making people really ill and causing them to die. I wonder who gave it its name, but we can’t blame whoever named it, everything has to have a name I guess. That’s how we are able to communicate and understand things better.

I know it’s very essential during this period to protect ourselves and others by wearing the mask. We would appear irresponsible if we didn’t because it means we are putting ourselves and others at risk. Logic right? Wisdom right? So what do we call people who detest the mask? Foolish? Irresponsible? Well, I can’t answer that unfortunately because unlike you I am yet to wear the mask and if I could pray to something, anything that will make me not wear the mask, then I will.

Shocking? I don’t care. But hear me out first before you decide whether I need to see a doctor.

When I was younger, I had a phobia for gloves. The red rubber gloves that handymen wear. My brothers will tease me with it and it made me panic. They didn’t get why I was afraid of it. I didn’t get it either, but back then it looked like a severed hand that was covered in blood.

I feel nearly the same about the mask, but instead of fear its giving me anxiety. I have lived in denial of all the pain and hurt going round the world due to this disease. I like to think everyone is alive and well and free and just taking a long break from all the hustle and bustle of life and outdoor activities. I also believe it is okay to be in denial for as long as you choose.

Now, I am about to be forced out of that stage of denial and its beyond my control. After all, this is a period of grief and discomfort and like all the stages people are allowed to go through during grief, I should be allowed to do things at my own pace.

You see for me, wearing the mask is not just covering half of your face, it’s an acknowledgement that times have changed, that nothing is certain anymore, that there is a big problem in the world, that people are dying every minute, that like all those movies i watched growing up, not so many people will survive except those who are strong or privileged.

With the mask comes the fear. With the mask comes the uncertainty. With the mask comes the acknowledgment of the reality I am in now.

I do not want to wear the mask.

P.s- I am still afraid of rubber gloves and Jim Carrey played his role well in the movie titled “The Mask”